


Too Important to Say

by Cookies_and_Chaos



Category: Malory Towers - Enid Blyton
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Queerplatonic Relationships, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28593978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cookies_and_Chaos/pseuds/Cookies_and_Chaos
Summary: Some things are simply too important to ruin with words. Post-canon. Written for the 12 Days of Christmas Challenge 2020, Day 10, "Ten Important Thoughts".
Relationships: Sally Hope & Darrell Rivers, Sally Hope/Darrell Rivers
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8
Collections: 12 Days of Christmas Challenge 2020





	Too Important to Say

Now that they have all left school, they're meant to be so very grown up and put together but Sally wondered if that was all just a clever illusion adults came up with to pretend they knew what they were doing.

Because she didn't feel grown up or put together and she certainly had no more answers than she did at school for the questions that rattled around in the back of her mind. Questions she tried mightily hard to ignore but which always seemed to be dragged back to the front by some line of conversation or idle chatter in the common room or out on the university quad.

Such as when another girl from their floor asked, "Where do you think you'll live after University?" and Sally's very first instinct was to glance at Darrell because it didn't matter where she imagined going, she always imagined Darrell there too. She had looked away quickly with a heat to her face when she locked eyes with Darrell, because apparently, she was Darrell's first instinct too.

Or like the time when Alicia had been in a particularly exasperating sort of mood and had asked which young men had caught her eye so far. Sally suspected Alicia knew full well that the answer was none and that she only asked for sport, knowing that Sally wouldn't say.

The worst was the time when the study group from her class had gone terribly off topic and started talking about marriage and children and then other more risqué topics that Sally didn't much want to talk about. She'd been forced to stumble through awkward sentiments that marked her out quite clearly as different and it had left her trying not to feel resentful at being put in that position. 

What was she supposed to say? That she had thought about all of those things everyone talked and asked about and saw little in them for her? That truly the only thing she wanted in the future was to find a career she loved, live a life she could be content with, and be with Darrell and, honestly, she didn't even know what 'to be with' meant to her?

If she couldn't work out what she wanted from Darrell — Love? Friendship? Romance? Companionship? — then however was she to ask Darrell if it was something they could share? Which was why Sally had never said anything or dared to ask whether Darrell's future had any space in it for her. 

Though they might not be oh-so-grown-up and mature, and Sally was certain none of them could be described as wise, she had quite forgotten that they had all changed in some small, but important ways. In particular, that Darrell's obliviousness of youth — a source of much amusement at school — had given way to a slightly better understanding of people.

They had been studying in silence for nearly half an hour when Darrell interrupted the comfortable silence.

"Something's been bothering you for a few weeks now," Darrell said, putting the bookmark inside the book she was reading, "will you tell me what it is?"

Sally had gotten so used to Darrell never picking up on any of these little things that she couldn't think of a thing to say and she missed her opportunity to say that there was nothing wrong and that she was simply tired. Darrell got up from her chair and leant against the desk Sally was working at.

"Agnes mentioned that you got quite upset when they were all talking about their futures..."

"That would be one way to put it, I suppose," Sally admitted, pushing her own essay aside. "I don't really know what's to happen to me after St Andrews. I thought I would know by now."

"Well..." Darrell folded her arms across her chest. "What do you want?"

"I'm supposed to find a husband and settle down and set up a family, aren't I? That's still what everyone expects women to do, right?" Sally asked bitterly.

"What do _you_ want?" Darrell repeated gently.

"I don't know," Sally said, "a career, a home, to be happy," she glanced up at Darrell and quickly looked away, "you."

"You can have all those things," Darrell said it so straight-forwardly that, for a second, Sally thought she might have missed Sally's last admission. "Especially because life after here for me wouldn't be much shake without you in it too."

Sally looked up again and Darrell nodded back at the silent question that must have been on her face.

"But..." Sally tried to think of what she wanted to say. "I don't... I'm not sure that..."

"Sometimes, the things we want to say are so clear and perfect in here," Darrell gently touched Sally's temple and then dropped her hand to tap just above her heart, "and here, that they simply shouldn't be ruined with something so imperfect as words."

"I don't even really know what it is I want to say, not really," Sally admitted.

Darrell shrugged and smiled in that way that seemed to leave men and women alike equally charmed, but never seemed to be quite as warm with others as when she was looking at Sally. "Then don't say anything. After all this time with you, I think I already know."

Sally hesitantly reached for both Darrell's hands and when she was offered them, she gripped hold a little tighter than she meant. "It doesn't matter if I can't quite decide what this is I want? That all I can say is it's you and me?"

"But that's precisely what it is, it's you and I, and whatever that looks like now or in ten years time, will still be you and I. That won't change, not for me." Darrell pulled Sally to her feet with a quick tug of her hands and wrapped her up in a tight hug. "And however it is, is perfect for me."


End file.
